The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laff Clinic

The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laff Clinic

released on LP (no date given)

Well, here's the last one of the bunch that I found at the recent local library sale. I believe there are a few more Heap/Idaho/Sex to Sexty albums out there. If anyone wants to kindly hook me up with any of those, drop me a note in the comments section.

From the liner notes:

Dear Fans:

Today medical science has come up with a pill for just about everything and they are wonderful. Even the birth control pills are changing a lot of won'ts into will's, and since there are so many Child Brides they even have the "Candy Coated Birth Control Pill." They've got pills to get up by and pills to go to bed by and even a new tranquilizer that doesn't calm you down but makes you enjoy being tense. Even the old people are getting a helping gland with the Monkey Gland and the Goat Gland or you can play it safe and get one of each just in case you are monkeying around and just happen to butt into something. Doctors are even changing men into women and women into men or half-and-half for the do-it-yourselfers, but we are proud to announce that we the first with a "Laff Clinic."

In this album Grandpa Flewhardy pays us another visit and he's still got that gleem in his eyes but he finds out it's just the sun reflecting off his bifocals.

Jukebox in the Bedroom is a story of a man and his "Beef Stew Marriage." His wife Beefs and he's always Stewed. He hires a Topless Waitress and finds out that the best things in life comes in pairs.

Peabody's Pills: They don't contain feathers and X-Lax but they'll still tickle the stuff out of you.

Beat Saint Nick is a routine about Santa's Swinging Helper who thinks a Trip Around the World is a form of making love while on L.S.D.

Percy Fillrod is a mixed up fellow that just "Blew" into town but when they try to take him into the Army they have to separate the men from the boys with a crowbar.

Dr. Seamore Rumps is a story about a friendly neighborhood doctor that dabbles in medicine and any other thing that might be in his office at the time.

We hope that this album will be as much fun as your favorite girlfriend, so lay it down and give it a spin. (Ken Idaho)
Tracklisting:  (link coming back soon)

Side 1

1. Grandpa Flewhardy {5:43}

2. Jukebox in the Bedroom {7:06}

3. Peabody's Pills {8:29}

Side 2

1. Beat St. Nick {8:17}

2. Percy Fillrod {7:01}

3. Dr. Seamore Rumps {6:31}

The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laff-a-Rammer

The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laff-a-Rammer

released on LP (no date given)

From the liner notes:

Dear Fans, Here we go again with our Sex to Sexty album. I've heard it said that the third time is a charm, well there's nothing charming about "Laff-A-Rammer", it's a Riot. (Riot: That's a sex maniac turned loose in a Cat House with a credit card.) So why not invite in your friendly neighborhood sex maniac and put on this album and you're in for a complete evening of "Laff-A-Rammer". If an old prude should drop by, forget it, hide the record. If you can't find a place to hide it then sit on it. This album may not be as good as sex but if you sit on it, it will be the next [best] thing to it. Get the gang together and play it for them, they'll get a bang out of it.

In this album Grandpa Flewhardy celebrates his 50th wedding anniversary. He goes all out but ends up all in. "Just Plain Crazy" is a song and story about a boy who meets a girl who tries to take him for everything. She thinks he's a real bargain because he's 50 per cent off but she ends up in the hole. "Snow White" is a story about an oversexed girl who woke up every morning feeling like a new man and got eight. In "Drunk Again" I portray a man suffering from bottle fatigue and proves that life is full of Urps and Downs. "Almost Persuaded" is a song about a girl who stays that way to keep from getting that way. The Nudist Colony was written in a nudist colony and it took a lot of poise. Poise: A man in a nudist colony that doesn't raise anything but an eyebrow.

This record may get scratchy like the record of life but you can have a lot of fun if you keep your needle in the groove. (Ken Idaho)

Tracklisting:  (link coming back soon)

Side 1

1. Grandpa's Anniversary {8:38}

2. Just Plain Crazy {7:31}

3. Snow White {6:53}

Side 2

1. Drunk Again {9:40}

2. Almost Persuaded {3:18}

3. The Nudist Colony {7:55}

The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laff Fun-tier

The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laff Fun-tier

released on LP (no date given)

This may or may not be the 2nd album put out by Jimmy Heap, Ken Idaho, and Sex to Sexty. More raunchy humor including Idaho's unique versions of the fairy tales, Cinderella and Red Riding Hood.

The liner notes provide some interesting tidbits about Jimmy Heap:

On the road with the Jimmy Heap Show is one big ball with seven of the greatest guys you'll ever meet. But that is to be expected because they work for the greatest boss man in the business, "Jimmy Heap". In all of his twenty years in the music business Jim has never fired anyone. He expects a night's work out of his band members and that's what he gets. [Apparently, Jimmy never had to go Buddy Rich on anyone.] That is why when you see the Jimmy Heap Show there is never a dull moment. A weekly rehearsal of songs and show routines keeps the band up to date on the latest songs in every field of music, with seven vocalists to sing the songs to give you variety in listening and watching pleasure. If you get a chance to see this sow, don't miss it, it's the show that everyone is talking about.

Credits from the back cover:

Jimmy Heap - guitar
Bill Glendening - bass
Butter Ball Harris - steel guitar
Ken Idaho - violin and saxophone
Butch Keith - trumpet
Lee Roy Eichler - drums
Johnny McMurtray - guitar


Tracklisting:  (link coming back soon)

Side 1

1. Grandpa Flewhardy {5:04}

2. Giddy Up A Go Go {6:13}

3. Cinderella {8:48}

Side 2

1. Little Brown Shack {10:50}

2. Little Red Riding Hood {6:47}

The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laugh Potion

The Jimmy Heap Show featuring Ken Idaho - Laugh Potion

released on LP (no date given)

When I was sifting through the boxes of records at the most recent local library sale, I noticed an album cover with illustrations and the words "sex to sexty" on it. Then I saw a few others like it and grabbed those too. I figured they had to be worth checking out and there was something familiar sounding about "sex to sexty", but I couldn't recall what it was. Besides, I already went through a few other boxes and didn't find anything remotely interesting, just the usual boring pop and easy listening records everyone used to own along with Firestone Christmas albums. I finally found some potentially worthwhile stuff with these albums. Overall, it was not a great night at the library sale. I found just a few other good records and checked out.

I listened to most of the stuff on these LPs and I was laughing a lot although this stuff is a bit beneath my sensibilities. I learned that Jimmy Heap was a band leader who wrote and performed country and western music. He seems to be most remembered for writing a hit song called "The Wild Side of Life". Then apparently while out in Las Vegas, Jimmy Heap thought that he needed to add comedy to his act. He found a guy named Ken Idaho who not only could play the violin and saxophone, he was also a comic who specialized in raunchy or bawdy comedy routines. (Ken Idaho's real name is Ken Alderhold.) The comedy act became a hit and Heap and Idaho teamed up with a humor magazine called Sex to Sexty and released several albums on Heap's label Fame Records (which Heap started in the mid 1950s after leaving Capitol Records). Sex to Sexty was vaguely familiar. I think I may have sneaked a peak at an old issue or two at some used merchandise shop when I was a kid. Sex to Sexty often put out issues from 1965 to 1983 and I'm sure you can guess what subject the magazine focused on. (There is even a book released that has all of the covers from the magazine.)

Read more at these sources about Jimmy Heap, Ken Idaho, and Sex to Sexty which most of the info came from and used in the above paragraph:

Vintage Sleaze
Jimmy Heap interview with Ray Campi
Answers.com biography of Jimmy Heap

This particular LP may or may not have been the first one put out by Heap, Idaho, and Sex to Sexty. I am going by the catalog number and it is the lowest one of these albums I have. Three of the tracks are renditions of three popular tunes and the other one is a routine with Heap and Idaho about the game of golf. This one, as is the case with all of these albums I have, is a party album with "adults only" type of humor including double entendres and dick jokes. In other words, it delivers entertainment and we don't have enough of it in our lives, right.

The band members credited on the back cover:

Jimmy Heap - "leader", guitar
Bill Glendening - bass
Butter Ball Harris - steel guitar
Ken Idaho - violin and saxophone
Ken Frazier - guitar
Butch Keith - trumpet
Lee Roy Eichler - drums

Tracklisting:  (link coming back soon)

Side 1

1. Henry the VIII {6:33}

2. Golf Game {7:33}

Side 2

1. See the Big Man Cry {5:02}

2. Love Potion No. 9 {8:44}

John Ankerberg - The Fatal Myths of Condom-Based Sex Education

John Ankerberg - The Fatal Myths of Condom-Based Sex Education

released on cassette in 1993

I found two cassettes of this program at a local thrift store. The program on the cassettes is from the The John Ankerberg Show TV program. "The Fatal Myths of Condom-Based Sex Education" purports to explain the fallacies of sex education involving condoms and other sexual protection drawn from supposed research and wild tales of public schools encouraging promiscuity. It does not take long on the program for Ankerberg to make clear his agenda of pushing ideological fundamental Christian based abstinence-only programs in public schools. Ankerberg and his many guests including the likes of Phyllis Schlafly, D. James Kennedy, Gary Bauer, Charles Stanley, Beverly LaHaye (wife of Left Behind author Tim LaHaye), etc. assert that using condoms will still lead to dire consequences such as teenage pregnancies and death. According to them, public schools or rather every school should be teaching morality drawn from their kind of religion.

Some douchebag named Josh McDowell says on the program that people believe it is not government's or society's business what goes on with two consenting adults behind closed doors. Josh becomes indignant when he points out that these same people want the government to fund AIDS research as if it is a hypocritical thing to do. I guess that finding a cure for a deadly disease is immoral if said deadly disease is supposed to prevent teens and unmarried adults from fornicating, right. I would not be surprised if Josh is still as ignorant of AIDS today as back in 1993.

Ankerberg and his ilk contend that abstinence-only programs work the best for turning teens into responsible and moral abstinent teens. Even better is that teens become followers of Ankerberg's brand of religion and give 10% of their paycheck to their church. Anyway there is factual evidence that proves Ankerberg and his friends wrong [the two links are examples out of many more sources]. Plus check out the .pdf report "Abstinence Only vs. Comprehensive Sex Education: What Are the Arguments? What is the Evidence?" on the AIDS Research Institute website.

Informing teens, who happen to be at stages in their lives where the hormones rage the highest, about all of the options including contraceptives and abstinence along with factual information about sex is the most effective way for teens not to end up in terrible situations due to their having sex. Teens will be at least interested in sex due to the combination of raging hormones and curiosity. Why not properly educate them. Ankerberg tries to counter this fact by saying that human beings are not animals and that abstinence-only programs can control the animal urges that people do not supposedly have in the first place. Even if teens are growing up in a religious household or in religious surroundings, they'll most likely still engage in some fooling around. My friend and fellow blogger, JACkory, attended a church camp for three years while he was in high school. During the third year at church camp, his girlfriend did for him what Monica Lewinsky did for Bill Clinton. I have no doubt that stuff still takes place at church camps and church meetings around the world.

John Ankerberg is much occupied with Christian apologetics among with everything else of interest to fundies if his crammed website is any indication. According to his biography:

President and founder of The Ankerberg Theological Research Institute.

Producer and host of the nationally televised John Ankerberg Show, a half-hour program seen in all 50 states via independent stations, the DAYSTAR Network, the DISH Network, DirecTV and on the SKY ANGEL Satellite, numerous cable outlets, as well as on the internet. The program can be seen each week by a potential viewing audience in excess of 99 million people. John presents contemporary spiritual issues and defends biblical/Christian answers.

Note: The tapes have quite background noise including hissing that I was unable to get rid of. Otherwise the tapes still play and the listener can hear what is said.


Tracklisting:

Side One

1. The Fatal Myths of Condom-Based Sex Education Prog. 1 {19:44}

Side Two

1. The Fatal Myths of Condom-Based Sex Education Prog. 2 {20:03}

Side Three

1. The Fatal Myths of Condom-Based Sex Education Prog. 3 {19:33}

Side Four

1. The Fatal Myths of Condom-Based Sex Education Prog. 4 {19:31}

various artists compilation - No Hang-Ups Tapes Volume III

various artists compilation - No Hang-Ups Tapes Volume III

released on cassette in 1988

I saw the cover and was excited in anticipation of getting to hear recordings of answering machine messages from highly acclaimed actors and actresses such as Nina Hartley, Herschel Savage, Nikki Charms, Misty Dawn, John Holmes, and others. (Not that I'm familiar with their work, I heard from various sources that they have a mastery of their craft.) Maybe I should have looked at the cover a little more closely.

Anyway I bought the tape, which was still sealed by the way, at a local thrift store. Sometime afterward, I opened the case and popped the tape into my car tape player. I discovered that this is a version that has only male voices. I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't get to hear Nina Hartley, Nikki Charms, and the other fine actresses. But I got over it and the tape provided a few minutes of entertainment for me. It also provided motivation for me to seek out the "female voice" version.

I guess that for you guys instead of providing your own message and voice on your answering machine which was probably boring, you get some oh so funny R-rated prerecorded messages that you can place on your answering machine. No doubt friends, family, medical practioners who set up appointments, employers, debt collectors, and telemarketers will get a kick out of the messages. One would think that these prerecorded messages make their users sound more like sleazebags. The tape provides instructions on how to do just that. (Just remember this came out in 1988.) I suppose that you can use the mp3's I generously ripped and provided for you to use on your fancy iPhone or Droid or whatever you use. So this tape could still be of use at the present.

Tracklisting:

1. anonymous - Hot Springs {0:19}

2. Eric Edwards - Jacuzzi {0:19}

3. anonymous - Say What {0:20}

4. anonymous - Really Blew It {0:22}

5. John Holmes - The Hots {0:21}

6. anonymous - Soft & Furry {0:22}

7. anonymous - A.M. Genie {0:20}

8. John Holmes - Getting Nailed {0:19}

9. John Holmes - Over Billion Served {0:21}

10. anonymous - Frozen Stiff {0:24}

11. Herschel Savage - Take It Off {0:21}

12. Eric Edwards - Great Sex {0:21}

13. Eric Edwards - Getting Ready {0:18}

14. anonymous - Leg Man {0:22}

15. anonymous - Sex Drive {0:23}

16. Herschel Savage - Strip Poker {0:22}

17. Herschel Savage - Mary Christmas {0:21}

18. anonymous - Evil Scientist {0:22}

19. anonymous - Loose Girl {0:18}

20. Herschel Savage - Amateur Gyne {0:14}

21. John Holmes - This is John Holmes Answering for... {0:04}

22. Nina Hartley - This is Nina Hartley Answering for... {0:05}

Helen Gurley Brown - Lessons in Love

Helen Gurley Brown - Lessons in Love

*special thanks to jay strange for this informative record

LP released in 1963

Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.

Before she became the chief editor at Cosmopolitan magazine for a long time where she transformed the magazine from a not widely read cultural literary magazine to a magazine containing photos of stick thin models and articles about sex positions and dating, Helen Gurley Brown wrote a book called Sex and the Single Girl which became a bestseller in 1962. Much of the book's content was radical for its time and interestingly her husband, the late producer David Brown, was the one who prompted Helen to write a book about her days as a single woman.

Sometime soon after the publication of the book, it was planned by the Crescendo Record Company for Helen to record an album of her reading portions from her book. However, Warner Brothers who was making a movie version of the book at the time, owned the recording rights to the book, so the audio version was nixed. So, Helen came up with new material that resulted in the LP, Lessons in Love. Each side of the LP contained advice each for men and girls (that's what they're referred to instead of women).

Helen dishes advice on how to discreetly cheat on your wives or husbands (it's only natural and bound to happen, right). Helen offers advice each for secretaries and bosses to maintain relationships in and out of the office. There's hope for midgets , I mean little men, to have success picking up girls. There's even hope for plain or ugly girls to land men as Helen helpfully explains how this is possible. Helen also tells how men can reject a girl and how a girl can reject a man. At the end of each side, in a bit of contradiction from her stance that cheating is okay, Helen explains how a man and a girl can remain faithful and love only his wife or her husband respectively.

So listen to the original Cosmo Girl tell you how to live your love life.

Tracklisting:

Side 1 HOW TO LOVE A GIRL

1. How to Have an Affair and Live Happily Ever After! part 1 {3:58}

2. How to Have an Affair and Live Happily Ever After! part 2 {2:50}

3. How to Behave at Home If You're Misbehaving Away from Home {2:20}

4. Getting the Most from Your Secretary {2:58}

5. Little Man You'll Have a Busy Day {3:13}

6. How to Say No to a Girl {3:18}

7. How to Love Your Wife and Nobody Else {4:09}

Side 2 HOW TO LOVE A MAN

1. How to Love a Man If You Aren't Pretty {6:06}

2. How to Say No to a Man Who... {2:57}

3. Unfaithful Wives' Tales {4:56}

4. How to Love a Boss {2:55}

5. How to Talk to a Man in Bed {4:02}

6. How to Love Your Husband and Nobody Else {3:32}

Warren Mintz - Plateau Phase of the Male Sexual Cycle

Warren Mintz - Plateau Phase of the Male Sexual Cycle

This particular recording is from a blank cassette which has been dubbed from another recording. I was unable to find a photograph of Mr. Mintz so I used the illustration above as it best gives the idea of what the listener is in for.

There does not seem to be much info about Warren Mintz or this recording. One of my good friends who goes by the name of Google turned up some info about a Warren Mintz who was a professor at Hofstra University. There is not any conclusive evidence that this is the same Warren Mintz who speaks on this recording although it appears likely that it is him.

As the recording's title says, Mintz explains this stage of the male sexual cycle. During the lecture, Mintz reads an excerpt from the literary classic, Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence and tells his stories of his time spent picking apples at an apple orchard in Washington (United States). They do illustrate what he is talking about. You'll have to listen to find out how. Not only will you learn something from this tape, there is definitely plenty of material for sampling here.

If anyone knows more about Warren Mintz, especially if the Hofstra professor is the same Warren Mintz who is on this tape, please write in the comments.

Tracklisting:

Side 1

1. Plateau Phase of the Male Sexual Cycle {22:26}

Side 2

1. Plateau Phase of the Male Sexual Cycle cont. {21:00}

Charley Drew - An Evening with Charley Drew, His Piano, and His Party Songs

Charley Drew - An Evening with Charley Drew, His Piano and His Party Songs

*special thanks to KL from NYC for this treat

Charley Drew - vocals, piano, lyrics

Apparently, there's not much info about Charley Drew out there. KL mentioned that there are no liner notes on this album or any other information. The back cover is blank. We do know that he was the resident piano player/entertainer at the Taft Hotel in New York City in the 1940s.

This 10" record is a collection of racy double-entendre songs meant to be played at parties. These are the type of entertaining and humorous songs that are hardly being performed anymore. I wish I had more information about Charley. Meanwhile, enjoy these tunes and hopefully we may start a revival of cleverly-worded double-entendre songs being played at parties. If swing music could be revived which took place a decade ago, why not this music.

Tracklisting:

Side A

1. Blushing Bride {3:11}

2. Bell Bottom Trousers {2:21}

3. The Girls I've Lost & Lost {2:27}

4. Robert the Roue from Reading, PA {2:23}

Side B

1. Gracie is Socially Secure {3:14}

2. Lousy Louisa {3:09}

3. They Didn't Give the Bride Away {3:09}

4. Fleet's in Today {2:16}

Dr. Milton I. Levine and Melba Rae - A Child's Introduction to Sex

Dr. Milton I. Levine and Melba Rae - A Child's Introduction to Sex

Note: I recently bought a new computer because my old computer simply bit the dust. I am still in the process of reorganizing my personal digital collections and I have yet to install the programs I need to rip LPs and cassettes and convert formats. I was fortunate to find something I've already put up before my old computer crashed. So, here it is.

I wish that I could have first learned about sex from an LP record. How cool would that be? Thus instead, I ended up learning about sex from another source, one that has pictures sans clothing if you know what I mean. I suppose I could pretend to forget all I know and listen to this record in an attempt to simulate the experience. Nah, who am I kidding? It will never work and it sounds wrong anyway.

At least, some people had an opportunity to learn about sex from a record since I imagine, here in America, a majority of parents were (and perhaps still are) uncomfortable explaining the subject. It may have been an act of bravery in the "good ol days" to even have a copy of this record in one's possession. Dr. Levine, Associate Professor of Clinical Pediatrics at the New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center at the time of this record's release, and soap opera actress Melba Rae adequately explain the process of how babies are made and the body parts used for making babies. This one is recommended for those who are not comfortable talking about it to children.

Tracklisting:  (link may be back soon)

Side 1

1. A Child's Introduction to Sex {9:44}

Side 2

1. A Child's Introduction to Sex continued {8:55}

Will Harvey - How to Find and Fascinate a Mistress [book]

Will Harvey - How to Find and Fascinate a Mistress [book]

book published in 1971

I found a copy of this book in some swap meet several years ago. When I first laid eyes on this book, I was somewhat amazed that a book like this was published. Then I looked at the cover again and I noticed the words "San Francisco Best Seller" on the top. I would not be surprised if this book was actually a bestseller in San Francisco at the time. If books like this were on top of bestseller lists, I would be interested in checking out what else sells (or sold) well in San Francisco. Forget the New York Times list. Anyway, I suppose I should feel lucky that a used copy of this book made its way to my locale which is a very conservative area (i.e. opposite of San Francisco). Come to think of it, this book would likely be read by folks in this area since they have a tendency to cheat and fool around while preaching morality. I do not think it is a coincidence that my locale has one of the highest rates of divorce in America.

This book is a guide to finding a mistress where the author has devised a test called the SYNAM test to determine if a woman is mistress material. Will Harvey has come up with four categories of the type of mistresses: honeybee, ladybug, hornet, and grasshopper. I suppose that his analogy of insect characteristics to mistress behaviors makes sense. There are tips on how to find mistresses and get them to be your companions. Harvey then writes about how to deal with the inevitable situation when the wife confronts the mistress. There are other tips such as how to deal with breakups with mistresses and what to do to use protection for both the philanderer and the mistress.

This book is aimed at men especially middle-aged to older men who are interested in having younger women on the side. This book seems to be a product of its time, but I'm sure the tips and ideas from this book are put to use today. Some people still want or need mistresses today after all. So, if you're looking for an interesting read (even if you're faithful which is good of course) check this book out.

From the blurb on the flap of the dust jacket:

This is not just a silly sex book or a manual for the sneaky. The author has found a realistic answer to the challenge of the sexually liberated woman who wants a capable man with no strings attached. He emphasizes HOW TO FIND THE WOMAN WHO IS LOOKING FOR YOU - and live to tell about it! But once you're on the man-mistress merry-go-round, how do you wave to the rest of the world without appearing silly? Or get off without stumbling? What respect does a mistress deserve? What happens when wife meets mistress?

Throughout his scientific and business career, the author has been asked these questions hundreds of times by bewildered friends and colleagues. They could never understand how he found and survived so many interesting women while maintaining a reasonable work schedule (from all outward appearances). Now, in the twilight of his career, he tells it like it is (or was for him). He's honest, arrogant - at times humble - but not apologetic. And for good reason. Some of the women in his life helped him write this book. All this country needs is a decent rationalization to relieve the suffering of untold millions who are doing it anyway - or wish they could. Never again will they feel alone.

Will Harvey began his career as an assistant professor in the sciences at a large university. An empty pocketbook and total frustration with academic life soon forced him into the business world. He would have preferred a steady job with an established firm, but the pressures of his personal life forced him to start his own company in the booming electronics field. Fortune smiled on him and he soon found himself in the on-again, off-again world of high finance (and low resistance). He attributes his modest success in business to the fact that he was most often preoccupied with the finer things in life when he otherwise would have been making serious mistakes at the office.

He has long felt that woman is the stronger sex, and that man's feeble claims to superiority are belied by the fact that most of his daily efforts are directly or indirectly devoted to the pursuit of, support of, or escape from a woman. So why fight it?

He looks back now on a lifetime which could have been conventionally wicked, had it not been for his constant struggles to turn personal necessity into social virtue.

part 1 part 2  (links will be back soon)

CONTENTS

1 PROFILES OF THE MISTRESS
Is She A Mistress? page 8
The Synam Test page 9
The Honeybee page 12
The Ladybug page 13
The Hornet page 15
The Grasshopper page 16
The Working Girl page 17
The Stewardess page 21
Your Own Secretary page 26
Where Do You Meet Her? page 29

2 I'M THE ONE
Mental Foreplay page 34
Don't Touch Me! page 35
The Panic Points page 37
Contact! page 41

3 MARKSMANSHIP
On The Firing Line page 48
The Bullseye page 49
Phase One page 50
Phase Two page 51
Phase Three page 52
The All-Day Sucker page 55
Bless the Squeek page 55
The First Shot page 57
The Warm-Up page 59
The Dud page 60
The Double Play page 61

4 OBSERVATIONS ON ORGASM
Are They All The Same? page 64
Automatics, Repeaters, And Not At All page 65
How Long Does It Take? page 68
The Over-Thirty Syndrome page 69
The Fatal Question page 71
Her Own Sex Manual page 73

5 LITTLE PROBLEMS
Don't Be Bashful page 75
The Afterglow page 76
The Dribble Problem page 77
The Gentle Hint page 78
The Missing Pill page 80
The Peeing Syndrome page 82
Oral Operations page 83

6 TABLE MANNERS
Time And Place page 87
Let Her Sniff The Buds page 94
How To Support A Mistress page 95
Holidays page 98
How To Protect And Present Your Mistress page 99
Wife Meets Mistress page 102
The Double Reverse page 103
Quickies page 110

7 THE END ZONE
I'm A Mistress page 115
You're A Bastard page 116
The Other Man page 117
The No-Breakfast Routine page 120
The Last Gasp page 121
The Silent Message page 122

8 FAMOUS LAST WORDS
Be Prepared page 125
The Condom page 126
Skins page 127
Hornet Protection page 129
VD page 132
A Blessing In Disguise page 133
The Pause page 134
Vaginal Suppositories page 136
The Diaphragm page 139
Foam And Applicator page 140
We're Stupid page 140
Testing The Condom page 141

9 HELPFUL HINTS FOR THE HUNTER
The First Blush page 145
The Team Approach page 146
Live Bait page 149
The Compassionate, Capable Man page 150
The Pompous Peacock page 152
The Badgered Businessman page 153
On The Job Contacts page 154
Too Good To Be True page 157
The Savior page 159

101 Strings - The Sounds of Love

101 Strings - The Sounds of Love

I do not think I need to explain 101 Strings to my regular visitors who are likely also regular visitors to other sharity blogs posting old loungy/easy listening music and/or similar to the stuff I usually post. Just in case, I'll briefly explain 101 Strings. It is made up of various orchestras hired for cheap to record mood or easy listening music which are mostly covers of hit tunes. An engineer named Dick L. Miller came up with the idea for the 101 Strings budget albums to release on his Somerset label. In 1964, Miller sold the catalog and licence to the Alshire label which continued to be prolific in releasing 101 Strings product. 101 Strings released somewhere around 200 albums. If you dig around in thrift stores, flea markets, library sales, garage sales, etc. chances are great that you'll see at least one or two 101 Strings LPs in the piles although spotting one of the few 101 Strings LPs worth having (e.g. Astro Sounds from Beyond the Year 2000, Sounds of Today, even the LP in this post, etc.) is slim.

The music on The Sounds of Love is really not that interesting. It is the usual easy listening style with monotonous strings. However, what makes The Sounds of Love fun to listen to are the vocals. A woman named Bebe Bardon contributes moans to a few of the songs. I assume that she is the person on the front and back covers and in the cheesecake centerfold-style fold out. Some guy named Joe Adams contributes vocals to a few other songs. I guess the best way to explain his style is if you enjoy William Shatner, you'll enjoy Joe Adams.

Another 101 Strings album featuring Bebe Bardon called The Exotic Sounds of Love was released a few years later. If anyone can provide this or the 7" I Remember/Whiplash (two songs from that album), I will be appreciative.



Voice sounds by Bebe Bardon on Side One - tracks 1 and 3 and Side Two - track 1
Dialogue by Joe Adams on Side One - tracks 2 and 4 and Side Two - tracks 2 and 4

Tracklisting:  (link will be back soon)

Side One

1. Love at First Sight {3:01}

2. Wonderful Seasons of Love {2:50}

3. I Got It Bad and That Ain't Good {3:20}

4. The Sounds of Silence {3:48}

5. In Love Again {2:23}

Side Two

1. Love is Blue {2:29}

2. This Guy's in Love With You {3:40}

3. Acapulco Affair {2:20}

4. Yesterday {4:28}

5. South Seas Romance {2:44}

Gregg Oliver and Lois Cooper - Seduction!

Gregg Oliver and Lois Cooper - Seduction!

Celebrate Valentine's Day Basement style with a tale depicting a day and evening in the life of a playa as he goes for another of his "thousand nocturnal invasions".

Another enjoyable gem found in the bowels of cyberspace.

Tracklisting:

1. Act One-Scene One {1:31}

2. Act One-Scene Two {1:46}

3. Act One-Scene Three {4:16}

4. Act Two-Scene One {2:43}

5. Act Two-Scene Two {3:04}

6. Act Three-Scene Two {12:08}

7. Act Three-Scene Three {5:03}

For more delight, you can also check out last year's Valentine's Day gift to you from the Basement.

Cecil Todd - Blueprint for Slavery

Cecil Todd - Blueprint for Slavery [book]

Cecil says that sex, sports and not sharing his beliefs in God is all part of a master plan to cause people in America and all over the world to become slaves to atheist communists. Despite people becoming more obsessed with sex and sports, the evil atheist commies have become nearly extinct over time and freedom prevails (or does it). The remaining commies are probably hiding in a cave somewhere with Osama Bin Laden. At least, Cecil's paranoid fantasies make for some interesting reading.

This message in the book is also available on LP. I don't have this LP since I'm not as cool as I think I am. Someday I promise to have the LP to share with you. This LP is advertised on the back of the booklet. The same description of the LP also applies to this book.

It contains the God-less "blueprint" of the communists to enslave America and the world - the naked truth of who is behind the race riots, demonstrations, civil disorders, labor strikes, revolutions, the "God-Is-Dead" movement, etc!!!!!!!

Thousands have flocked to hear this message in rallies from Phoenix, Arizona, all the way to Savannah, Georgia. Now -here it is, for the first time on record!!! IT WILL JAR YOU TO YOUR TOES! You'll find out why atheist Madalyn Murray didn't like it!

Order it for church services, class meetings, missionary meetings, freedom academies, radio broadcasts, and your own personal use. Order extra copies for your friends.

the book  (link may be back soon)

Table of Contents:

Chapter 1 - America was Born on Her Knees page 1

Chapter 2 - The Slave Chain of "Get God Out" page 9

Chapter 3 - The Slave Chain of "Giving People a Twisted View of Sex" page 12

Chapter 4 - The Slave Chain of "Getting People's Minds on Sports and Athletics page 15

20 pages total

Bob Harrington - Chaplain of Bourbon Street

Bob Harrington - Chaplain of Bourbon Street

"Chaplain of Bourbon Street" was a title given to "Bro. Bob" Harrington by the then mayor of New Orleans, Louisiana. Bob was more than willing to go to that sinful and decadent place to save those sinners who inhabited the place. Bob even gave sermons in strip clubs.
On this record, Bob comes off as an affable guy and tells humourous anecdotes while preaching. All of the tracks have music at the end.
Read an interview with Bob that took place in 2000 that tells about Bob's rise and fall and his comeback from his fall.




Tracklisting:

Side 1

1. track 1 {0:54}

2. track 2 {3:12}

3. track 3 {7:08}

4. track 4 {6:04}

5. track 5 {6:46}

Side 2

1. track 6 {1:15}

2. track 7 {7:02}

3. track 8 {5:15}

4. track 9 {6:30}

5. track 10 {3:56}

Stag Party in London Vol. 2

Stag Party in London Vol. 2

I was a surprised to spot a copy of this record here in Oklahoma. As you can see, the words "FOR ADULTS ONLY" and a picture of a naked woman are on the cover. Not only was I surprised to find a copy here in the state, but surprised to find a copy at the public library's annual sale where many children were roaming around and could have seen this cover. However, none of the children showed any interest in records when I was there. Personally I find that sad, but am relieved that I didn't have to hear any complaints from the prudes (whom I believe still account for a majority of the populace here). The library would have been forced to scrutinize and further examine the contents of the records. Then again, this copy may have accidentally been overlooked and found its way to the racks.

According to the liner notes, this collection of songs was improvised by rugby players during their showers after games. Soldiers and laborers have also contributed some of the lyrics to these songs. This LP was recorded at a men's party. The liner notes do not mention that it was a stag party, yet I do assume that it was a stag party. The songs are quite memorable. The day before yesterday, I caught myself singing one of these songs in the shower. I won't mention which one it was, as I feel embarassed admitting it. The songs are of a risque nature where lust and um, having relations are emphasized. Okay, they do get very raunchy. They have quite a large amount of swear words. If this record was to be reissued, it would come with a large "parental advisory explicit lyrics" sticker attached to it. All but one of the songs have a group of grown men singing in unison. The songs are renditions of folk songs where the vocals are accompanied by a piano, accordion and drums although the lyrics are obviously altered.

Kids, if you come across this post, I'll point out again that this is FOR ADULTS ONLY. I say this so that I won't corrupt your innocent minds and that your parents won't get pissed at me. You're better off with something more family-friendly like R. Kelly or Kid Rock. I think that's what you kids still listen to as I haven't kept up with popular music.

Actually, the artists I mentioned really suck so if you want to listen to this and impress your friends that you have these raunchy songs, go right ahead. Chances are the music on this album is better than what you've been listening to so far. Plus, you either already know about this sexual stuff or will hear about it soon anyway.

In case anyone wants to know, I do not have Vol. 1.

Tracklisting:

Side 1

1. The Sexual Life of the Camel {1:54}

2. The Ball of Kerrymuir {2:54}

3. Rim Ram Roo {2:34}

4. Dinah {2:02}

5. The Mayor of Bayswater {2:07}

6. Whoredean School {3:01}

Side 2

1. Roll Me Over {3:26}

2. Cats on the Rooftops {3:19}

3. Doggies Meeting {2:38}

4. Sweet Violets {3:09}

5. Knobby Hall {2:18}

6. Chicago {1:59}

Jack Van Impe - From Night Clubs to Christ

Jack Van Impe - From Night Clubs to Christ

This blog started off with a message by Mr. Van Impe where he discussed what hell really is. This message is Van Impe's conversion story of how he once was an inhabitant of night clubs (because his father was a night club entertainer) to becoming a crusader for all that is good and holy including ranting against rock 'n' roll and naked women in movies. This record reveals how Van Impe became the man he is today.

Tracklisting:

Side 1

1. From Night Clubs to Christ side 1 {28:04}

Side 2

1. From Night Clubs to Christ side 2 {29:55}

The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman by "J"

J - The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman

This record is taken from the Terry Garrity (a.k.a. J) New York Times bestselling book of the same title and it is narrated (or rather performed) by someone named Connie Z. Both the book and record were published during the time of "free love" (1969). This was intended as an instruction manual for women (especially seemingly for uptight middle- and upper-class housewives) on how to be more amorous as well as good in bed. The content is quite explicit which is why the cover says RECOMMENDED FOR ADULTS ONLY although it's probably not much more risque than just about any book, album, movie or TV show put out presently. While that there are moments of unintentional comedy, there are other people who believe that the content has much valuable advice.

Tracklisting:  (link will be back soon)

Side One

1. The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman Part I {19:17}

Side Two

1. The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman Part II {18:36}

Lust Control - Dancing Naked

Lust Control - Dancing Naked

A while back, conservative Christian punk/hard rock band Lust Control's album We Are Not Ashamed was posted. That album had professional production. Lust Control self-released two albums prior to that album. Dancing Naked was the band's second album. It's not as well polished in production (i.e. low-fi), but it's really not much of an issue. The tunes rock and can be enjoyable even if one disagrees with their perspective and can get past it. As far as I know, their first two albums were released only on cassette while We Are Not Ashamed was released on both tape and CD. A few songs from this album were rerecorded and put on We Are Not Ashamed. For a little background information on the band, go to the earlier Lust Control post as I don't feel like it writing it again.

Tracklisting:

Side 1

1. Rebuke {1:17}

2. Jesus Washed Judas' Feet {0:32}

3. Dancing Naked {5:46}

4. What About Your Wife? {0:32}

5. Circumcised, Baptized, & Moon Pies {2:56}

6. Fun, Fun Feeling {3:43}

7. Living in the New Age {3:32}

8. Witch Hunt {0:13}

Side 2

1. What's Goin On {1:23}

2. Say It Like a Rock Star {0:51}

3. Big Bang {3:09}

4. Deliverance {1:19}

5. John Styll {0:13}

6. Swimsuit Edition Wallpaper {3:38}

7. Operation Rescue {2:38}

8. That Groove Thang {2:01}

9. You Too {0:49}

10. Planned Parenthood/Grace Reprise {2:43}

Rock & Religion (Shows No. 49 & 50)

Rock & Religion (RR 49 & RR 50)

Rock & Religion was a radio show produced in Sacramento, California. It ran from 1977 to 1981 with about 184 programs. The show focused on rock and pop music from a Christian perspective. Apparently, these programs were put on LPs as promotional copies according to that valuable internet resource, Wikipedia. My copy of Rock & Religion has programs 49 and 50.

Program No. 49 is about punk rock. It is hosted by Mary Neely, and Steve Scott, a musician and poet, is the program's guest who offers an explanation why punk rock is aggressive, violent and shocking. The program features snippets from The Sex Pistols, Ian Dury, The Damned and even The Rolling Stones. It's a fun program to listen to and is of interest to anyone interested in punk rock. The program actually offers some good sociological insight into punk rock, but probably nothing new for those already knowledgeable of punk. This show originally aired on November 19, 1978.

Program No. 50 is about how love songs have evolved from being romantic and thoughtful in the 1940s to being overtly sexual and selfish in the 1970s to say the least ("people indeed become reduced to love machines"). Song snippets from Elvis, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones (again), Rod Stewart, KC and the Sunshine Band and others are featured. The first 15 minutes is fun to listen to. The rest of the program ... not so fun. Three songs are played in their entirety that are still romantic, thoughtful and definitely sappy in the decadent 1970s and there is an interview with one of those artists. This show originally aired on November 26, 1978.

By the way, programs 49 & 50 are awaiting to be filled on that Wikipedia article.

Tracklisting:  (link will be back soon)

Show No. 49

1. Punk Rock {29:45}

Show No. 50

1. Love Songs {29:00}