I am going in a new direction in my life. This blog will reflect the change in my life that I need. It just occurred to me that my life is sad. All I do really is shop in thrift stores and other places that sell used junk. No I don't just wonder in these places. What I do is look for old records and tapes. Not just any old records and tapes. They are records and tapes that no one has probably heard of and no one probably wants, from records consisting entirely of car noises to off-the-wall atonal 20th century chamber music. Usually I just grab whatever junk is there even if they're beat to hell since they're dirt cheap and I'll have money left over to buy food and car insurance. What's even sadder is that I post these things on a blog such as this one. I cannot believe where my life has gone. I don't think I even have a life. Good lord, did you see my post yesterday? It's a tape of some woman repeating phrases over and over and they're really intended for people to play to their pet parrots. I buy stuff like that, digitize this stuff then post this stuff. I can't believe it.
I should make an attempt to be a part of the mainstream. From now on, I will quit looking for moldy old recordings. Besides, if they were any good, they would be out on CD and fully stocked at Wal Mart or Target and remastered so I don't have to hear those ugly clicks and pops that vinyl records make. Apparently most of them aren't any good which is why they just sit in junk shops and collect dust. Anyway there is so much good new music out there that I don't need to bother with old stuff especially weird old stuff that no one even listened to back in the day. From now on, I'm watching American Idol. It's amazing that there is so much talent in the world. I'm liking listening to the young people on the show sing and perform. I even like the way some of them look. It's great that there is no one over 30 performing as pop stars tend to be washed up at 30 anyway, right. I like the Logan's Run rule. Sure there is some British guy on the show that can be overly critical at times, but I know his heart is in the right place. He believes in good music. Millions of people believe in good music as they're tuned in every week. After the show is over, everyone is talking about it even the mainstream news media. So I am now joining the masses. Hopefully I can find some new friends since it shouldn't be too hard to find other people who enjoy American Idol. I'm watching with anticipation to see who will be the next American Idol.
I am resetting my stations on my radio to the top-40 stations along with some classic rock and country stations. Have to have a little variety and those genres are also good. I'm especially enjoying country music. I mean the new kind not that sad whiny genuinely moving cry-in-your-beer stuff. I like me some Toby Keith, Kenny Chesney and Taylor Swift. Toby Keith is now one of my favorite artists. I'm trying to sell my crap (i.e. weird records and tapes) in order to have money to buy all of Toby Keith's CDs as well as all of Kenny Chesney's and Taylor Swift's CDs and all of the CDs by everyone who won American Idol such as David Cook and Ruben Studdard. Then I'll look next to buying CDs from whoever is popular. I am also watching popular TV shows such as Gray's Anatomy, Desparate Housewives, and Survivor. I'm watching every reality show on the air because they're great and all about real life. That's why they get high ratings. I am also planning on reading popular books. Wait, hardly anyone reads. Never mind. I guess I don't need books now.
Now that I am listening to mainstream pop music and watching the TV shows that everyone else watches, I am able to be a part of mainstream life. I want to shop at stores that sell new stuff and consume. I want the newest car and all that stuff that's on the commercials. I want to fit in. I want to make money, have a big house, live in the newest gated subdivision, and make friends with other people like me preferablly the ones that are successful in life of course.
Speaking of successful people, I am now a devoted reader of The Pioneer Woman. It may sound odd at first that I am a man who reads a blog everyday aimed at women especially mothers. It's not really that aspect that draws me to The Pioneer Woman although her tales with her children (or "punks" as she refers to them) are delightful. I just like reading about her wonderful life and checking out her delicious recipes and viewing her lovely produced photographs. The Pioneer Woman has a blog that is widely read by millions all over the world. Her posts receive an average of approximately 500 comments while I am lucky to get a comment at all on my small insignificant obscure blog. Yes, I am a fan of The Pioneer Woman because she is a hugely successful blogger plus she is so amazingly talented in so many areas (such as cooking, photography, and home schooling). Meanwhile all I do is post recordings of old crap created by other people. She has also published a cookbook. She is definitely not posting parrot training or elk hunting cassettes.
Her blog has won many real awards. Her blog won Weblog of the Year at the Weblog Awards. Not only that, her blog also won in two other categories: Best Photography and Best-Designed Weblog. Wait there's more. The Pioneer Woman was also named one of the best 25 blogs by Time magazine. It's on the same list as other popular blogs such as The Huffington Post, BoingBoing, Lifehacker, and others although The Pioneer Woman is superior to all of them.
Not only does The Pioneer Woman has the greatest blog of all time, she has a great life story. She was raised in the slums of some country club golf course in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, which the town is inhabited by wealthy oil barons and home of the annual Mozart Festival by the way. Then she moved to Los Angeles, California and got a degree at the University of Southern California, a private school. Then she lived a life of being a fashionable spoiled city girl just like on that show Sex and the City. Then she met some cowboy from you guessed it, Oklahoma. She fell in love with this cowboy whom she named Marlboro Man. She married him and moved to his ranch back in Oklahoma. Now she is roughing it on the ranch with Marlboro Man who happens to be in one of the richest families in the area and is probably amazingly handsome and rugged in a suave way. The Pioneer Woman's depictions of her life on the luxurious estate on the ranch are riveting. Now the news has come that Reece Witherspoon is going to play her in a movie based on her life. Wow! I do not dare to think who would play me in a movie.
I am just a smalltime blogger who is now another devoted follower of The Pioneer Woman. Did I mention that she is the greatest blogger ever? Anyway, I plan on writing blog posts on things people care about such as anecdotes from my life, American Idol, recipes, tips on success, tips on how to use Photoshop to make pictures look professionally done, celebrity and pop culture news along with posting pictures of celebrities and cats. That's what's coming on this blog from now on. I strive to be a successful blogger like The Pioneer Woman and go on national TV, publish real books, win awards for blogging, and make lots of money. Yes, I strive for success. That should be my focus and ambition. That is all for today. If memory serves, there is a holiday today although I can't quite recall which one it is.
