Jack Van Impe - The Great Escape!
released on LP
Well, it is December 21, 2012 at my current location and the world is still here after all. I was starting to feel bad I didn't get this other Jack Van Impe record posted as I promised in the last post.
On that note, we all get to celebrate that wonderful tradition X-mas. Of course, all of y'all are already celebrating it, right, as it starts usually from the evening of Thanksgiving to sometime in the early part of January. Also, the war on X-mas is over and X-mas won. All them darn secular socialists who don't like the baby Jesus are retreating into hiding while cowering their heads in shame.
Or so we thought the forces of good won the war on X-mas. Apparently, most of the media are wrong. The fantastic, full-of-integrity, fair and balanced news organization Fox News has uncovered evidence that the forces of bad are still at it and are winning. We here at the Basement, just like that knowledgeable and upstanding journalist Bill O'Reilly, loves X-mas and feel everyone should too because it's just so right. You'll never see "Happy H*******" in this blog. [See as you can tell, the word cannot be mentioned.]
There was no way in heck the world was ending on December 21, 2012. Only one person knows when the world is ending and that is none other than Mr. Van Impe. It can be pointed out that Van Impe hardly mentions a date (at least not on the records I've heard or his TV show) and therefore does not really know. He does tend to say dates every once in a blue moon and it never happens.
Anyway on this record, Van Impe says there's a way that people do not really have to suffer through the end. He says there's a way to escape all the horrible stuff that's about to happen during the tribulation whenever that is. All one has to do is believe the same stuff that he does (and buy his movies and give money to his ministry). Okay, I was kidding about the last half of the prior sentence though I'm sure that doing those things will get one on the most likely to be raptured list if Jack Van Impe has a lot of that social capital with the Holy One.
On this record, there is no mention of the evils of this world such as movies featuring naked people, rock 'n' roll, horse racing, lesbianism, and other nice things in life. They're all discussed in the record in the last post and a few of his other records. This record offers only hard core theology Revelations style. I have little doubt that none of those things will be present in the special place people go to when they get raptured. Also there probably will not be any of those secular progressive socialist people who feel a need to declare a war on Xmas. That place where people go to get raptured will be full of Xmas trees, Xmas decorations, and Xmas parties and no one will ever utter the dreaded words "Happy H******". Only reruns of Fox and Friends along with other fine Fox News programming will be shown.
So if one wants to be saved and be on the list to be taken to the special place, one should play this record (and give money to Jack Van Impe). (Those facelifts and other forms of cosmetic surgery to keep Rexella looking radiant aren't cheap.)
Side One
1. The Great Escape! [part one] {24:00}
Side Two
1. The Great Escape! [part two] {21:32}
